Choices

Life is full of choices.

Who will you marry?  What job will you take?  How many kids will you have?

And sometimes life seems like it throws things at us and we had no choice.

I wanted more kids, but we couldn’t get pregnant.  I can’t find a job – there are none here close to home.  My house fell down and now it seems we have to build a new one. 

 :)

But really even at these moments, we make choices that are our decision.  We could have brought in a double-wide.  Would that have been a good choice considering my husband is a contractor and builds houses?  Probably not.  Would it have been a lot less money and less hassle?  More than likely.

It’s easy to see this with some things, not as easy with others.  Sometimes we go ahead and get pregnant, even when maybe it’s not the most ideal of circumstances.  Sometimes we don’t return the phone call an extra day, and now that job is unavailable.  Sometimes we are married to someone who just doesn’t have the same plan we do.  

Life isn't fair.  And life is not this cut and dry, really, either.  None of these decisions or situations are really as black and white as we might want to make them, or as we wish they could be.  Some of our children think that mommies have babies because they prayed to Jesus and asked him for one.  If only it was that simple.  Some of our husbands think that we are home all day and so the clothes should all be put away.  Again – not quite that simple. 

Either way, we have to admit the law of cause and effect is alive and well.  When our choices have led us to this moment, we have to work with it.  I want to be working at the new house.  In my mind, this “needs” to be done.  Thankfully I have a lot of family to turn to.  But I didn’t ask my mom or Aunt Kathy it was ok with them that I had a third kid or that we were going to build a house “on our own” (which really means with the help of those who love us).  I didn’t check with them first.  So if they can’t watch my kids, it’s not their fault.  The choices I have made have led here to this moment. 

It’s not that no one wants to help me.  It’s not personal.  It’s my problem.  I have to make choices because I have this set of responsibilities in my life right now.  I might not be able to go shopping with my friends or scrapbooking of an evening, because I’ve used up all my babysitters and I can’t afford to hire someone.  I might not be able to make my dr. appointments when I want or go get groceries when I want, because I don’t have help at those times.  I’m learning that the list of things that “need” to be done is a little different than I might like it to be.  

As we get closer to moving into our house, and running out of money :) , I find myself wondering how we are going to pay for all of the things I undoubtedly will “need.”  Closet shelving, curtains, fireplace mantle and surround, front porch finishing, lighting on the front of the garage.  Yes, these were originally part of the budget, but they have been pushed off the list as other things encroached and now I’m faced with some choices:  Can I have everyone over to my house with an unfinished fireplace?  

I’ve decided to embrace my situation.  We won’t have enough money for me to have things the way I want within the next 6 months.  I’m going to be proud instead of embarrassed.  We have made the choice for me to stay home and take care of our family.  Result: We don’t have enough money to make our house exactly how we want.  I’m hoping I can be ok with this.  We aren’t going anywhere.  Those details will still be there when Edwin is school age.  I can address them then.  

I was raised in a society that likes to blame others.  I do that.  But I was raised by parents who taught me my life is my problem.  And as I get older I recognize that more, I guess.  As I get older it’s a little easier to see the big picture.  What I think I “need” to have or to do today, is probably not as pressing as I think it is.  I have choices.  

And one of them is calling my name right now.  :)

My Reality Can Change Someone Else's

Over the past few years my brothers have become increasingly aware of the needs of children all over the world.  Both of them now work with organizations raising money to clothe, feed, and nurture children in both the United States and across seas.  As they have become more passionate about these causes, this compassion has spilled over to their family and friends.  Last year when Joseph decided to run his second marathon with Team World Vision, our family made the move to sponsor a Hope Child.

This was something I had been wanting to do for years.  I had always been hesitant about sending my money off to who-knows-where, but I knew that it could do some good.  After realizing the history and reputation that World Vision has (they were the first to create child sponsorships years ago), I felt comfortable – and actually excited – about getting involved.  My reality is so far from the world of these people who daily struggle to survive in a community with hardships I can't even imagine.  But my reality, my blessings, can change the lives of these children.  These communities have a lot of potential, but a lot of suffering. 

Certainly there were times in our life when we simply could not even think about being able to afford this privilege.  And although we run a tight ship these days with the new house and me staying at home with the kids, I faced the fact that $35 just isn’t that much money to part with each month.  Especially when I know how much good it can do someone.  World Vision makes it very easy to make this a reality in your home.  They send you information about your child and easy access to communicate with her and her family.  They are helpful and kind and patient with us.  :) 

This year my brothers have decided to go to Uganda to run a marathon.  I know, it sounds  a little crazy.  :)  But it isn’t crazy if their team can find sponsors for 350 children who need support.  There are 7 people on their team and they are sacrificing and training in a driven effort to expand awareness of what we can do to help communities in Africa.  You can find out more about their team and how this works.  One click, check it out, and open up yourself to the possibilities of what your $35 could do for a community who needs clean water, health care, and education.  If you would like more information, find out more about Team World Vision with this link.  Please pray about making this a reality for you and your family. 

I have a few Child Sponsorship folders that include a picture and information about specific children.  If you would like to look thru those and see if one would be a good fit for your family, let me know.  I’m carrying them around with me these days.  If you’d rather look thru some bios online, you can click here and see specific children who need a sponsor.  If you have any questions or would like to talk about the idea or the process, let me know.  I'm stretching myself out of my comfort level a little here :), but chatting about these kids and this incredible opportunity is something I'm happy to do. 

Thanks for taking the time to consider this.  

Sincerely,

Angela

A Message for Moms of Small Children

It turns out I spend a lot of my Time thinking about how much Time I have.  I suspect there are many moms out there that can relate.  This thought process will include contemplation of whether I spend too much Time sleeping in the morning and how I should probably be getting up earlier. (I could get so much more accomplished if I was up at 5, right?!)  It includes thoughts about how I can make better use of our Time before school in the mornings, and how I could possibly streamline mealtime.  I spend a lot of Time feeling guilty for how I am not spending enough Time in the Word or reading with my kids.  Lately I’ve been wishing I had more time to blog and to hang out with my husband. 

Today at Mom’s Bible Study we talked about Time and how we should probably be spending more time just getting to know our kids.  There was a lot of talk about perspective and priorities.  It made me think about what my priorities are when I come home.  What do I do with my Time?  

My house is rarely cleaned up really good to start with.  This isn’t a self-help session on why, but it’s pertinent to the conversation because I’m already walking into a room that is screaming for my Time.  However, the first thing that is addressed is:  What are the needs of my children right now?  #1.  Is it time for anyone to eat?  Are my kids hungry?  Is it time for the baby’s bottle?  #2 then is, does anyone need to be cleaned?  Diapers or baths anyone?  And #3 tackles sleep.  Is it naptime?  Is it bedtime?  Is anyone especially crabby that they require immediate attention?  

Ok, so that was my kids.  Then my husband gets the same attention.  :) Right?  I mean, if he has just come home, those are the issues that need to be addressed first.  If he walks in the door filthy, at least one of those things needs to be rectified before I can hand him a child.  

Lastly then I ask if I need food, a shower, or a nap.  Haha, actually that last one was funny because that is rarely addressed.  Anyway, it turns out these things take a lot of time!  But if I haven’t had a shower in over a day and a half I am not functioning very well.  And now look – the dishes that come from the appetite and the clothes that come from the dirt are waiting for you when you are finished meeting everyone’s needs.  We haven’t even touched homework, reading, piano practice, playtime, picking up toys, or a devotion time.  Not to mention mental sanity events including a phone call with a girlfriend or a visit to grandma’s house.  

This isn’t a list of excuses or justification for my kitchen table looking the way it does.  It’s simply a meeting with reality.  We spend a lot of time in “fairy-tale-land” as my 4-year-old says, but occasionally it’s a good idea to take a look at reality.  If you are beating yourself up because things don’t ‘look the way you want them to,’ take a break.  Look at what you’ve accomplished today.  Are your children safe?  Clean enough?  Fed?  Have you bathed in the last 36 hours?  Then cut yourself some slack.  The laundry will still be there when your husband gets clean enough to hold the baby for a while.  :)